Ignorance
by Maybe I Just Loved You
Summary: I've changed since then. I thought we would stay friends, but instead we all dropped like flies when one of us really needs the rest of us. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I dated a slut for popularity, but I want to fix all this. I want to help. So I don't know about you, but I was a hell of a lot happier before we all broke apart. Rated T for drug use.


TJ's POV

I had thought we were invincible, unable to be broken down.

I thought none of us would give a damn about cliques or what other people thought of us.

The first day of high school, we walked in together.

Each day after that was a different story though.

Gretchen had to go in early because of some science thing. Soon enough all her A.P. classes kept her so busy she couldn't spend time with us, of course we weren't even on the same level as her anymore.

Vince was the next to leave, early morning sports, afternoon sports, night training, homework, team meetings, I don't even think his parents saw him anymore. Now he's to busy wearing his varsity jacket to even care about us anymore.

Gus actually left in tenth grade, his dad was stationed to Alaska, and poor Gus had go along with him. He used to write, but I guess it got kind of expensive, and one day he just stopped.

By the middle of tenth grade, Mikey had decided to spread his wings, and join the Drama club. Plays took up a lot of his time, and so did painting the set, and vocal lessons, but he does still invite Spin and I to every single one of the productions he's in.

Well, he used to invite Spinelli.

The summer between tenth and eleventh grade changed her. She stopped hanging out with me, stopped talking to me, stopped talking to really everyone. I still have no idea why. She sits alone at lunch now, in the back of the cafeteria, on the days she shows up at least. She misses school for weeks at a time now, and it kills me that I don't know why.

But what can I do? I'm just TJ Detweiler. The boy who lost all his friends, who everyone likes, but no one can get close to. I'm popular, but I don't do sports. I don't do really good in school. I'm not exciting. I'm just some teenager.

* * *

Senior year. A year full of promises.

Every day was the same though.

I wake up late, that's usual for me.

I throw on a pair of jeans, and a white tee, then brush my teeth, grab my jacket and hat and head out to my truck.

It's a pretty old thing, all beat up and rusty, but it's freedom all right. I can drive anywhere really.

The school parking lots almost completely full, but I get a decent spot.

My first class is math, easy enough. My teachers some kind of stoner or something, it took him until October to hand our books out.

I stare out the window, it's the middle of November, a nice time really. A drizzle of rain starts to fall from the sky, and a small breeze flutters through the slightly open window.

The board has some kind if math problem on it that were supposed to solve but no one really cares.

A couple jocks are talking about the game coming up, some kids nap or finish other classes homework, and the Ashley's all sit in some kind circle thing on the desks.

Ashley Q. winks at me, and I do a kind of nod thing. She's been my girlfriend for about a year now. We're the two most popular people in school, we had to get together really.

Ashley A. went off the deep end last year at a part with some drugs, and was never the same. She became the schools freak-show after she got a DUI and ended up in prison a little while later.

That's when Ashley Q. became the most popular girl in school. A few weeks later we hooked up at a party and have been dating ever since.

She hobbles over to my desk on her freakin foot tall monster heals, and sits down on my lap.

"There's a party tonight. You interested?" What she really means is there's a chance to get drunk, high, or both and have sex. And that if I'm not interested she will make me regret it.

"Yea, whatever. Who's hosting?"

"Vince." Ashley scoffed

Vince had never become super popular, he instead had become the guy most people barely tolerated because he had been playing varsity since freshman year, and was never in on anything cool if it wasn't related to sports.

"Eh, I heard Hustler got some new stuff yesterday, perfect place to try some out."

"Whatever. So, our anniversary is coming up next week, and I was thinking that maybe we could go out to dinner at this fancy place I know a couple cities over, and then we could sneak off to my parents lake house. Nobody around, perfect for whatever we want to do." Ashley smirked. She was devious, every guy would consider me lucky for having her, but really I wasn't all that lucky.

"Yea, sure."

She brings her lips to mine, but they don't stay, they leave as soon as I get a taste for her. "See ya tonight." She giggles, then teeters back to her friends.

The rest of my day isn't very exciting, I go to english, them lunch, then chemistry, world history, Spanish, and finally my last class of the day rolls around.

Art.

It's the only class that I have with Spinelli, and unfortunately she usually ditches.

Not today though, she's sitting in the back of class, a dark sweatshirt covering her head, headphones clearly in both ears.

I take a seat a couple of rows in front of her. A few minutes later class begins.

"Today we are beginning a new project, one where you will sketch a stereotype that the world is filled with. You may use any medium that you wish. Begin." The teacher instructs, before going back to her desk to read some sappy romance novel.

I grab a piece of paper, and a pencil and head back to my seat.

Stereotype. What to choose.

Most people haven't started. But when I look behind me I see Spinelli hard at work drawing with colored pencils and surrounded by other stuff. I watch her all class, she never looks up, her head is deep in her work.

When the afternoon bell rings, I break out of my trance. Spinelli begins to pack up her stuff, I do too.

"Whatcha working on?" I ask.

Maybe she didn't hear me, maybe she ignored me, she walks out of the room without answering.

"Okay, bye." I call out.

It takes my a while to get home.

My house used to always be loud and full of conversation. Now Becky's out of college and moved out, my Dad divorced my Mom a few years ago, and my Mom's either at work or schmoozing up her new boyfriend, and it's always silent.

I spend most of my time on the couch watching tv, before Ashley calls telling me to pick her up.

She told me in the first week we started dating I always had to pick her up and we had to arrive together for everything, so we'd have a 'good image.' Really I find it just another way for her make sure I always go to places with her.

Vince's house hasn't changed on the outside, but the inside is loud and bright and smells like weed and beer.

"Come on Hustler's out back." Ashley says, grabbing my hand. Somehow by the time we get to the yard, Ashley got us both beers.

"T, A. What can do for my best customers." Francis says, motioning to his briefcase full of every drug imaginable.

"Some Ecstasy for me, and TJ wants some too." Ashley decides for us.

"Free of charge, party special." He says, passing us the two little pills. The only reason the drugs are free is so we all get so high we don't notice him stealing from our wallets, then we come crashing down and need more, but none of us have money so we have go to extremes to get it.

Thats I why I stopped bringing my wallet to this kind of thing.

I take the pill, and soon enough my world starts to become so full of wonder.

Ashley and I dance. I can't look at her though, she grosses me out a little.

Her skin is a fake tan, her face is caked on with lines of makeup, her hair is dyed a strawberry platinum mix, and her barely there skank dress with her six inch heels all brings out the whore look in her.

I take a swig of my beer, and stumble around Vince's house.

How'd he even throw a party like this? He never threw parties.

He said coach was always checking on them, and that tests could show alcohol and drugs and he couldn't have that.

But this is crazy.

"TJ." I hear someone call out.

"Theresa." I call back out, hugging her slightly.

She grew up all right. She grew up, she grew out and all the right places, and ended up pretty hot.

"Killer party right?"

"Ya."

"You know I heard that Vince actually had beer." She giggled. I could tell that Hustler had given her something, and it seemed so weird that the innocent little girl from so many years ago was drinking beer and taking drugs.

"No way. He's the most sober person I've ever met."

"It's true. I think he threw up though. I don't really know. I'm running low, gonna go grab another, bye TJ."

I spend hours at Vince's, and I decide to leave.

I walk over to Ashley who's dancing on some random eleventh grader.

"Get lost." I tell the kid, just to see him run away scared.

"Teeeeee Jaaaay." Ashley grabs onto me, doing some kind of kiss thing to my neck that really freaks me out.

"I'm leaving, you want a ride?"

"But it's like so early. Stay. This party's getting good." Ashley grabs my shirt collar pulling me in.

"I have to go." Her hands drop, her eyes look disappointed but her smile never stops.

"Well Ima go find me a real man." She yelled out through the crowds.

I barely manage to find my car, but I do. The drive home isn't long, but I sit in my driveway for a considerable amount of time.

I see two other cars in the driveway. My moms, and whichever tool she's dating now's.

I get out of my car, and walk down the street, down to Spinelli's house.

I walk up to the front door, but I can't knock.

What would I even say. 'Hey, how have you been, I may be high or drunk right now, how are you?' God I'm a moron. I walk down the steps, when I hear the door open.

"TJ?"


End file.
